Yes…..I know it’s a paradox, but still a fact! IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!!! Guys, there’s even a K-drama series by the same name and a book too, written by Sheila Walsh (I believe there’s no relation whatsoever between the two). I haven’t watched the drama series, but I’ve read the book and it gently touched those deep dark places in my soul that needed to be shown some TLC.
I’ve always been the kind of person who has all her ducks in a row, all my i’s dotted and my t’s crossed. I would say genetics and my upbringing had a lot to do with that, but we also can’t forget my personality type- I have very strong green and blue energy (87% & 74% respectively) so that can tell you how I show up in the world! But despite our character strengths and beautiful flaws, some things simply don’t pan out as we expect or hope they would.
In my growth and transition season, things went in the complete opposite direction of what I expected- all the metaphorical ducks swam away and the i’s and t’s simply vanished! And guess what, I was left feeling ‘not okay’. And I’ve been ‘not okay’ for a while now, despite always showing up looking like I was doing better than okay. I always have my makeup on and my clothes properly matched and of course my heels…..oh my dear heels…we’ve been places! I was raised to know that you don’t show the world that you’re bleeding…..bleed inside!!!! Culture tells us “Never let your haters see you sweat”. So over time I’ve perfected the art of wearing my crown and strutting like nothing in the world can disturb my pearls, but many times, my insides were bleeding and sweating profusely.
So I started thinking about this paradox and questioning whether I’ve been showing up as my authentic self or simply putting up a show. We’ve grown accustomed to the generic greetings of “How are you?” “I’m okay”. Are you though? Are you really okay? This year I’ve learnt to be gentle with myself and assure myself that sometimes its okay to admit that I’m not okay.
In those ‘not so okay’ moments, I encourage you to find safe spaces where you can be authentic and unravel, without fear of being judged. Those safe spaces could be with a trusted friend or partner, a trusted coach, mentor or therapist. As a coach, I firmly believe that every human being should have a coach, a mentor and a therapist. If you can’t afford to have all three, at least have one. I currently have a coach. I’m working on the other two.
Honey, it’s okay to not be okay! You have a right to process your feelings and emotions at your own pace. So on those days you don’t feel okay, don’t beat yourself down. Speak kindly to your soul, show yourself some love, rest, eat well, and enjoy some good conversations with good people……because you’ll be okay again.
Sending you some love and light ❤️✨.
Always,
Posh 💕
