Adulting- What does it even mean? Is it real or just a myth? Is it overrated or underrated? Do we expect too much from ourselves when we become adults? Is every grownup an adult? Also, what’s with all the pressure?
The other day I visited a close friend of mine who got a baby a few months ago, and as I was staring into that little munchkin’s face, I envied that baby…..yes, you heard me…..I envied that little cuddly bundle of joy and wished I could go 3.5 decades back and remain an infant. I’ve never felt so much pressure in my life like I have in the past two years. Admittedly, the pressure has been mostly internal, but there’s also this invisible layer of overwhelming pressure that comes simply from interacting with other ‘adults’.
And this pressure is from every corner- financially, relationally, career and sadly……..even spiritually! No doubt we’re facing some hard economic times globally, so most people feel the tightness in their chest every morning wondering how they’ll make rent, buy food and pay tuition for their kids, besides servicing their debt, all the while staying alive and pretending to be sane.
Relational pressure comes in the ugly colour of “When are you gonna get married?” “Why are you still single?” “What are you still waiting for?” “Is no one hitting on you?” “Surely you must be dating. You’re too beautiful to be single!” And the questions just…….don’t……..stop. And let’s not forget that internal voice that casts doubt on our awesome-ness- “Is something wrong with me?” “Am I not sexy or feminine enough?” “Do I still believe in soulmates?” “Are my standards too high?”.
I’ll not even attempt to take a deep dive into career pressure, because that stuff hurts. I’ve had days I’ve wondered if I still have a career and what it was. Real talk! There’s so much pressure to ‘make it’ between a certain age and let’s not ignore the societal standards of career success- buying a home, driving a great car, having cash in the bank, passive income streams, meaningful networks and influential connections…….bla bla bla! And so if you’re in your 30s or 40s and you haven’t figured it all out, then you must be doing something wrong or maybe you just suck at life!
Then…..there’s spiritual pressure! This one’s tough guys, especially for spiritual folk like myself! I absolutely, totally, completely love Jesus with every bone in my body- He’s my Absolute Best Friend Forever! I mean it. But there’s times I’ve asked tough questions- “God, where are You?” “How long must I wait?” “Do I even still believe?” “Do I have mountain-moving faith?” “Why are my prayers going unanswered?” “Is God angry at me?” “Is there something others are doing to get answers and I’m not?” “Am I praying right?”. Folks, spiritual pressure is real.
Truthfully, adulting comes with all this and a bunch of other stuff too. Hence my want to become an infant again. I’d want to sleep without worrying about tomorrow. I want to not care where my food and rent will come from. I want to be pampered and taken care of and shown some serious love. Infants have it all good…..I wish they knew!
But…….it’s not all gloom and doom (well the weather is kinda gloomy). Adulting takes courage. It takes guts. It takes doing it afraid. It takes waking up every morning and doing what needs to be done when you just feel like burying yourself in your duvet and changing your identity!
If you’re out here adulting and putting one foot in front of the other, even though you have no clue where you’re going and what you’re doing and whether you’re even doing it right……well kudos to you! I salute you my man/my woman! We’re all in these world adulting and crossing our fingers that everything works out.
Keep adulting folks and don’t give up! The sun will shine again 🌞.
Always,
Posh 💕
